Wednesday, April 27, 2011

W is for WRITER-ALL-NITER ...

That's right! It's finally here! I'm pleased to introduce you to a revolutionary breakthrough that will change your lives forever.

The new WRITER-ALL-NITER comes in a handy fun-size pill, coated in a deliciously rich dark chew-able chocolate. Like biting into a gourmet treat!

The WRITER-ALL-NITER is not a drug. It's all natural with no side effects. Harmless to children and pets, and %100 satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!

How do you know if WRITER-ALL-NITER is right for you?

* Do you have trouble finding time to write?
* Are there too many distractions and obligations that send your concentration down the drain?
* Does sleep become a main priority over writing?
* When able to steal those precious writerly moments, do you sometimes feel guilty for being selfish? Or too spent to focus on your other daily duties?


Well, your worries are over! One WRITER-ALL-NITER pill allows you to stay awake for up to  48 hours and feel as fresh and smart as if you've just woken from an undisturbed 8 hour slumber. The natural herbal ingredients are not only harmless, they actually stimulate the left side of your brain to produce more creativity and imagination.

Trouble with overuse of adverbs and telling instead of showing? No problem. The WRITER-ALL-NITER equally stimulates your internal editor to catch those no-nos, without interfering in the creative process. With the WRITER-ALL-NITER pill, you can work the day job, do the housework, care for the family with a smile on your face, then stow away to your writing dungeon for hours of uninterrupted writing genius without getting tired or cranky. Plus, with no side effects, you're as chipper and clever as ever.

No one will ever know you're using a supplement. The WRITER-ALL-NITER is not addictive and  purely safe. Still trying to polish off that best seller? Don't sink into that despair of frustration and self-doubt! Buy the WRITER-ALL-NITER today! Don't delay! Your one time payment of $1.99 gets you a 30 day supply of pills so you can stay awake all month and finish your work!

And that's not all ...

If you act fast, we'll throw in a bonus. You'll also receive the UNTHINKING CAP for that much needed brain restoration after your creative productivity. The UNTHINKING CAP is made of all natural hemp fibers with an invisible micro-chip stored inside, sending harmless waves that allow your brain to turn off the flow of thought and just be a blubbering idiot for awhile. Pull up the TV and tie on your UNTHINKING CAP. Let your brain have a vacation. One hour of the UNTHINKING CAP will feel like a 3 day mini vacation. A must have for any writer, while supplies last.

(Patent pending)

So what are you waiting for? Call now and all this can be yours for the ultimate low price of $1.99 for a 30 day supply!

ORDER NOW AT 1-555-DREAMON    FOR YOURS TODAY!

***************************************************************************

Congrats to Hart Johnson at Confessions of a Watery Tart for making the ABNA semi-finalists! Rock on, Hart!

35 comments:

Angeline said...

Ha ha brilliant! I always think about pulling an all-nighter, but I'm much more of a morning writer, so I tend to get up stupid-early instead.

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Brilliant!!!!!! but I don't think I want to stay awake for 48 hours for whatever reason.
A very good W word.
Yvonne.

Raquel Byrnes said...

LOL! That is perfect for me...I have insomnia and write after midnight normally. Do you think it will have the opposite effect on me? Whatever, you said chocolate so I'm sold. =)
Edge of Your Seat Romance

Carrie said...

I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT!!!!

Right now I'm depending on coffee, and I'm a little on edge...

Mary said...

LOL! There are times I could use that little pill just for life itself! Thanks for the cheerful start to my day!

D U Okonkwo said...

Oh my word this is hilarious! Couldn't stop laughing. Every writer will be able to identify with this Great post!

Old Kitty said...

I'm counting my pennies in my penny jar this moment!!!

:-) Take care
x

Old Kitty said...

p.s. I also meant to add "yayayayyayayayayaay!! for the NAKEDest Tart in the whole planet!!!!!!!
Such joyous news!!" ok back to counting pennies!
x

Michael Di Gesu said...

TOO FUNNY, PK!

I needed a good laugh this morning,

Leslie Rose said...

I'll hide it in my vitamin bottle and no one will ever know, except the cats. They always know.

DM said...

Ok. This one I love. I'll take a bezillion to start with. Very creative idea! What most of us need.

Liz Fichera said...

Very funny! :-) You must patent this. Stat!

Summer Ross said...

LOL- sounds too good to be true- and you pinged info mercials very well! LOL thanks for the funny today.

Lisa Gail Green said...

Oooh oooh I gotta get me some of that!!! :P HILARIOUS! :D

Julie Musil said...

OMG, this is hilarious! *searches for phone* I cracked up at the hemp line.

letterbowl said...

Just ordered it! Thanks for making me laugh =D

Stephen Tremp said...

Me, I need to sleep. Can't do without it. So I can stay up late but eventually I'm going to pass out in my chair. A hemp hat .... that would only make me crash even earlier. After a box of Captain Crunch of course.

Jules said...

LOL, I've been diagnosed with night-owl syndrome so can I just order the hemp hat? There are no side effects like munchies is there? :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Madeleine said...

I don't like writing when hubby's loitering about though I do let him read what I write later other than that I'm pretty lucky. :O)

M.J. Fifield said...

Oh, I definitely need an unthinking cap. Too damn funny. Loved this!

Rachel Morgan said...

I. NEED. ONE. NOOOOOOW!

Please?

Oh, I so wish the writer-all-niter was a real pill....

Barbara Kloss said...

LOL. Nice. I'll take 5.

Hart Johnson said...

Oh my gosh! I want a lifetime supply! In fact I'd settle for a sleep substitute! I love it!

And thank you so much for the congrats!!!

Robyn Campbell said...

I'm in!!!!! Writer-all-niter is EXACTLY what this writer needeth. And lotsa chocolate. And maybe a banana split.

My writing partner frequently stays up all night writing. So now I KNOW how she does it. And she told me it was all the coffee after 5:00PM. I'm on to her now. Bwahahahahahahaha

Kathryn said...

LoL. I don't want this. I like sleep. ;)

IanBontems said...

I'll take a year's supply asap. Loved this post :)

fOIS In The City said...

I am sure you'll get FDA approval for your new discovery :)

What else could W be if not a writer and for you all niter is fast becoming your way of life.

Yes, I love this post. Tomorrow X marks the spot.

Alexis Bass Writes said...

If ONLY!!! I especially like that it will keep me chipper and clever. Sign. me. UP!

Norma Beishir said...

I used to take Screwitol....

N4M3L3SS said...

lold and loved it

Lucy Adams said...

At that price, I'd like to order a 50 year supply.

Lucy

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Oh, this is so much better than becoming a vampire. :D

Jennifer Jackson said...

I'll take some! lol

I loved this post, PK. You rock!

LTM said...

LOL! You goof. Man! I wish I could pull an all-nighter, but I couldn't do it even as a college student. :p I get so tired~ <3

Cally Jackson said...

Hehehe. I gotta get me some of those!!